Impossible Standards: Nothing I do works: Diary of a Black Girl

Sitting here after a long day of work, I hardly ever watch 106 and Park. For one, I don't have a lot of time and for two it seems as if it draws more attention to the younger crowd. That's another story. This guy with beautiful skin and dreads laid neatly in all the right places caught my eyes. Wale. I pronounced his name as Whale when I first seen it. How silly of me? Let's get on task here. Did u see the video? It was heartfelt as I described earlier it was way too familiar. That diary belonged to me at least some part of my life and/or one or many of my close friends. The message I am assuming he is trying to convey is that we (women) carry hurt on from one relationship to another. At the beginning of the video he has a brief encounter with this girl who just fans him off. She doesn’t seem interested to know what he has to offer her, if anything. If you listen closely you can hear her friend tell her “don’t even sweat it”, as if they’re discussing something prior.


“Rather lose love than to move on never knowing what it feels like.” That is a powerful statement. I believe that young women go through a phase in a relationship where they assume it is love and are afraid to let go. Sometimes I want to tell young women “if you ever experience real love then you will not waste your time.” The reality is we know when something is not right. We just do not want to believe it and hope it will get better. This is normal, but sometimes enough is enough.

Wait there is more…..


“Listen to your friend gets another man for a minute then repeat,
Queen, you deserve the title but she rejects what I give, while she nurses the wounds by them.” I have to agree with Wale again. I have heard women say, “No need to start a new relationship it will be the same.” What about the women who give the next dude a tough time because she is scorn? We have our guard up the second time around. Sometimes when we have experienced an unhealthy relationship, we do not realize when someone else’s intentions are good.

“Raised by a momma who, who,
Hate her baby father so, so
She don’t have a problem with, with,
Saying Forget a guy Quick, quick,

Wale goes on to talk about how some women hate their child’s father. How many times have you heard women say they do not need a man? This could be true. What about the fatherless child? When I was growing up I needed my dad. Not so much that I could not live without him but just for comfort and knowing that I was love by the man that helped create me. Do we send mix signals because we use our emotions first? Do we realize the impact we have on our children?

So you know I have advice to offer. It is only right. Let first address that all women are not like the young lady shown in the video. Everyone has different experiences. I am only going by what I see and the women I come across including myself. My advice will be to wait for love. Stop looking for something that may not be meant to be. Fill a person out before you put your all. If you leave sex out of the picture you are less likely to get hurt. Keep in mind, that relationships are not perfect. I hope that we all find a prince charming but let’s be real. Take your time. Love you. If you thought you found that special someone and it does not work out, feel strong enough to move on. It is not failure. It is simply an experience. Learn from them. Hope this helps.

Mr. Wale, sir you have adopted a new fan. I love the song and video.

LNP