WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO PREVENT TEEN PREGNANCY

Anybody thats age 11 and up please bring them out to our Teen Pregnancy Prevention Workshop and Pledge Event this Saturday @ 11am at Emanuel AME Church, Portsmouth, VA conducted by Planned Parenthood. Email for more info 041701@msn.com. Oh yeah, ADULTS are welcome to attend too!!!

SATURDAY MAY 22, 2010!!

Impossible Standards: Nothing I do works: Diary of a Black Girl

Sitting here after a long day of work, I hardly ever watch 106 and Park. For one, I don't have a lot of time and for two it seems as if it draws more attention to the younger crowd. That's another story. This guy with beautiful skin and dreads laid neatly in all the right places caught my eyes. Wale. I pronounced his name as Whale when I first seen it. How silly of me? Let's get on task here. Did u see the video? It was heartfelt as I described earlier it was way too familiar. That diary belonged to me at least some part of my life and/or one or many of my close friends. The message I am assuming he is trying to convey is that we (women) carry hurt on from one relationship to another. At the beginning of the video he has a brief encounter with this girl who just fans him off. She doesn’t seem interested to know what he has to offer her, if anything. If you listen closely you can hear her friend tell her “don’t even sweat it”, as if they’re discussing something prior.


“Rather lose love than to move on never knowing what it feels like.” That is a powerful statement. I believe that young women go through a phase in a relationship where they assume it is love and are afraid to let go. Sometimes I want to tell young women “if you ever experience real love then you will not waste your time.” The reality is we know when something is not right. We just do not want to believe it and hope it will get better. This is normal, but sometimes enough is enough.

Wait there is more…..


“Listen to your friend gets another man for a minute then repeat,
Queen, you deserve the title but she rejects what I give, while she nurses the wounds by them.” I have to agree with Wale again. I have heard women say, “No need to start a new relationship it will be the same.” What about the women who give the next dude a tough time because she is scorn? We have our guard up the second time around. Sometimes when we have experienced an unhealthy relationship, we do not realize when someone else’s intentions are good.

“Raised by a momma who, who,
Hate her baby father so, so
She don’t have a problem with, with,
Saying Forget a guy Quick, quick,

Wale goes on to talk about how some women hate their child’s father. How many times have you heard women say they do not need a man? This could be true. What about the fatherless child? When I was growing up I needed my dad. Not so much that I could not live without him but just for comfort and knowing that I was love by the man that helped create me. Do we send mix signals because we use our emotions first? Do we realize the impact we have on our children?

So you know I have advice to offer. It is only right. Let first address that all women are not like the young lady shown in the video. Everyone has different experiences. I am only going by what I see and the women I come across including myself. My advice will be to wait for love. Stop looking for something that may not be meant to be. Fill a person out before you put your all. If you leave sex out of the picture you are less likely to get hurt. Keep in mind, that relationships are not perfect. I hope that we all find a prince charming but let’s be real. Take your time. Love you. If you thought you found that special someone and it does not work out, feel strong enough to move on. It is not failure. It is simply an experience. Learn from them. Hope this helps.

Mr. Wale, sir you have adopted a new fan. I love the song and video.

LNP

Ladies: "Doing You":: what number are you on?

“Do you” or “Doing me”- Who coined that term? Be careful what you put out there. For what I heard or from past experiences I believe it means lack of commitment. In other terms, no strings attached, self-fulfillment, and being independent but in a sexual manner. Correct me if I am wrong, but that usually how I hear it. As a matter of fact, I heard today. It went like something like this, “Girl do not get married at 18. Before you do all that, do you first”. This was said to a 15 year-old girl. Wow! I thought. Here I am, trying to clear it up. Can we really do us? Can we really sleep with several partners? I know the world isn’t fair and men can do it blah, blah, blah. But, would you really want to? One woman read a passage to me that said “women are like sockets, be careful who you let plug it you.” The best thing I have heard.
I wanted to let my young females know that is it perfectly okay to be pure. When I say pure, I’m not saying a complete virgin. I mean anyone who is a virgin I strongly commend you to stay that way until marriage. But, lets keep it real, in this day and time there are few unless they are 11 and under. Just because you have lost your virginity does not mean you cannot wait on the next special partner especially if you have not found that “one”. It does not mean you cannot wait until you are married.

Think about it 10 minutes of satisfaction could lead to an STD, HIV/AIDs, pregnancy, a broken heart, rumors etc. It scares me because a lot of young females are inexperience and are not aware of their own bodies. Basically, at the end, we are not getting any pleasure at all. So, what’s your point? Do you want to feel loved? Do you want to feel closeness? Does sex constitutes love? Does sex make a man fall deeper in love with you? If you don’t have sex with him, will he leave you?

I am asking the question, but now in the same breath I will answer them. Here are your answers:
No you cannot as a woman have multiple sex partners. True you can do whatever you want, but it wouldn’t be wise especially at this day and time. If you know someone personally and they told you that its okay based on their past experiences. Ask them: how they ever had an STD? Ever had an unwanted pregnancy? Sit back and look at their life. Are there any success stories from what they have experienced? If there are, which I highly doubt, will your life turn out the same? Be careful whom you envy. Be you. All these different men that you are sleeping cannot possibly be “husband material”. Do you plan to spend the rest of your life with each of them? At the end of the day, is it worth it?

If you want to feel loved. Love Yourself First. No one can possibly love you more than you. If you don’t love yourself, there is no reason for you to to love another. I’m not talking about family. Some things are unconditional. Don’t look for someone to give you happiness. Trust me, if you love yourself there will be fewer things that you will tolerate. You definitely would not settle for 10 minutes or maybe less of senseless sex. Find out what makes you happy. Don’t put your life on hold for this new thing called “love”. If it is right it will come natural.

If you want to feel closeness, get to know a person. I find some ladies have sex with guys and do not even know his middle name. If you were to have an unexpected child by this guy, you could not even name his son a junior. Ask simple question like, What is your favorite color? What’s your mother’s name? What was life like in your childhood? What’s your favorite food? Do you know what makes him laugh? What ticks him them off? What type of family does he come from? Can he dance? He is right handed of left? Does he want to have children? You get my point.

Sex doesn’t constitute love. A person can be in love with you and never touched you sexually. A person can have sex with you, but don’t love you. This guy said, “I don’t have to have sex with a person to be emotionally attached to that person”.

Sex can make your relationship deeper, but don’t use sex to get to that point. If your relationship is failing, having sex just to make it better is not going to help. It might mend it for a while, but think about once the sex is over. What’s going to happen? If he is not emotionally attached then you might just become his sex buddy. If you are someone’s sex buddy, snap out of it. Don’t believe he loves you because he comes to scoop you for sex.

How do you know if you are a just a sex buddy:

If you can’t reach him after certain times
If you call and he doesn’t answer
If you do not go on dates
If you are in need, but you cannot call on him
If he does not know hardly anything about you
If you hardly know anything about him
If you have met anyone in his family, preferably his mother or father.
I can go on. No one needs to tell you. You should know. Wake up!!

If you don’t have sex with him, he may leave. So! Don’t let that bother you. If he leaves quickly, rather now, then when something really serious comes up. Trust me, he wasn’t worth it in the beginning if he is unable to stick around. You should be able to walk away with your head high. No need for him to become another sex partner. Love you. Be you. You will find love when it is right for you.

Sisterhood

I think its time to put away all the drama. It is time to come together and unite. My vision is to create a sisterhood and a support system. Even though I have yet to choose a sorority, I admire their bond. But, what if you never make it to college? That means that you would not have a chance to partake in the unity. What if you are in college, but do not fit the "description" or cannot get in. While standards should remain and be set high, my vision would be just a sisterhood. That's it. Doesn't matter the background, GPA, body structure etc. It would be my dedication to your girls because they will grow to be beautiful women. They will learn from us and then teach their children. We need to have the ultimate support system. We need mentors, leaders and a bond to help other sisters out. When life gets hectic and we can't talk to mom. Sisterhood doesn't require extensive time, speaking is how it starts. Speaking and communicating is very beneficial and it opens up a welcoming door. So, the next time you walk into a beauty salon packed with beautiful sisters, speak and engage. Have enough confidence to downplay negativity. Speak and see what happens. Someone will speak back and if not, oh well! Let us break the cycle of judging. We quickly judge or are afraid to get to know our own people. Statements like "I don't need her all up in my business" -people actually only know what you tell them. Being a respectable and polite person does not mean spilling all your business and the juicy gossip. In other words, let us build!! Starting today, build a new network and who knows a new friendship!! Through the positive moment I have build new friendships with Clever, TierraDivaStyle, Tiff Biff, Primary Thoughts (aliases of course) just to name a few. I do not know them personally, but we have created a bond... It's so wonderful to meet other beautiful women.

Fitting In- Is it really that serious???

On July 31st I visited New Mt. Olivet Baptist Church in Portsmouth. They gathered for a girl’s lock in. It was very interesting and fun!! They dance off of “Just Fine” (check out the video is my last blog) and Mary Mary, “It’s the God in Me!” I set out for that part, didn’t want to trip over my feet. LOL I’m getting there. Maybe next time I will show out and dance!!

I served on the panel. The girls got to ask up ask us questions about anything that was bothering them. The panel selection was impressive. There were a couple of NSU grads. Whoop! Whoop! A young lady went to Hampton University, another Old Dominion and another TCC. We all had educational backgrounds, but at the end of the day we were all women. It doesn’t take education to speak from experience. We wanted to give the best advice as well as guide them to new endeavors in life. The girls asked questions about “fitting in “ and peer pressure. We explain to the girls that women our age our struggling with fitting in even today. Except, when you are older you learn to accept things they way they are and avoid negativity. As you grow, you learn what is right and wrong so you steer clear of peer pressure. But, I was teen once and fitting in did matter to me. At, 15, I was flat-chest and frail and frightened at the fact of attending high school. My peers had nice clothes that my mother could not afford. I was so worried about being popular. The best advice I can give is “be yourself”. Trust me it would be so hard to be someone else. Laugh, Live, Learn, Love and have fun!! Being a teen is wonderful. Trying to fit in should be the least of your worries. However, it easier said than done.

Just remember, 10 years from now its not going to matter what you wore in high school and who your friends were. What will matter is that you completed high school and where you are headed. Keep that in mind!!

Peach, Love and Blessings
Stay tuned….

LNP

The New Age of Texting

When you hear the term "sexting," you may think the harmless exchange of risqué text messages to your beau. However, today's younger generation has given a new definition to the name. Sexting has become a popular trend among middle and high school students who send promiscuous photos to one another via cell phones and PDAs. This in itself can be disturbing, but with sexting, it hardly ever stops there.

Unquestionably, sexting can reap consequences and a bruised reputation is only part of it. Teenagers around the country have been charged for the risky conduct. Depending on the cases, the repercussions can be serious: child pornography charges, felonies and last but not least registering as a sex offender. According to a survey conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy in 2008, 39% of all teens are sending or posting sexually suggestive messages and 59% of all young adults were doing the same. Even more startling, last year an 18-year-old girl from Ohio committed suicide after her ex-boyfriend shared her photos with their high school friends.

The authorities can only do so much and they encourage strict enforcement of parental guidance. Besides having a talk about sex and setting ground rules, parents are urged to monitor the activity on their children's phones to help ensure they are using their device appropriately. Young adults who exchange explicit photos are especially likely to become sexually active with each other. As sexting cases continue to grow, parent-children interaction should do the same.
How would you react if you found out your son or daughter was sending sexually explicit photos/messages? What can parents do to ensure "sexting" is not happening in their homes?

http://www.essence.com/relationships/sexual_health/articles/the_new_age_of_sexting/

Tuesday Community Teen Night

Come out on May 12, 2009
"Tuesday Teen Night"
@ the Ansell Gardens,
301 Ansell Ave, Portsmouth, VA
6:00- 7:00pm.

The LYF Foundation will be presenting on healthy relationships, self-respect and self-love.
There will be fun activities.
Event is free and open to the public.
For more info call: 757-397-6161

LYF Foundation will be @ I.C. Norcom

STAND OUT AGAINST TEEN PREGNANCY


Girls Incorporated of Southwest Hampton Roads Center for Youth and Portsmouth Better Beginnings Coalition will be celebrating National Teen Pregnancy Prevention month with a teen summit, encouraging teens and parents to STAND OUT against teen pregnancy. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy has designated May as the national month of pregnancy prevention.

The event is free and will be held at I. C. Norcom High School on Saturday, May 9, 2009 from 10:00AM to 1:00PM for parents and youth ages 12-19 years old. The summit will focus on issues related to teen pregnancy with various youth workshops on sexually transmitted diseases, healthy relationships, and discussions with teen parents. Parent workshops will focus on statutory rape and how to communicate with teens about sex. There will be special appearance by Portsmouth native, Ashley "TRU' Ward, and fun give-a-ways.

Portsmouth is ranked #10 among cities in Virginia and as a state, #19 in the country for Teenage Pregnancy. Teen pregnancy is steadily rising. This informational summit will help teens focus on different stereotypes and how they can become advocates for change.

"We’re excited about the work that is being done in the community, and we hope that this will be a step toward improving the future of our teens." says Lerlyne Lewis, Girls Inc.'s Outreach Coordinator.

The event is limited to the first 150 teens who register. Registrations are being accepted by Tuesday, April 28, 2009.

If interested in participating and for more information about the event, please call (757) 465-3896.

Domestic Violence victims are at higher risk in contracting HIV (STDs).

Domestic Violence victims are at higher risk in contracting HIV (STDs).

It makes sense. There is no bargaining power. When you are in abusive relationship it is unlikely that the victim will question his/her partner about infidelity.



11 Facts About Teens and STDs

Nineteen million new STD infections occur each year, almost half of them among young people ages 15 to 24.

10,000 teens are infected by STDs per day, one every eight seconds!

One out of every four sexually active teens has an STD, and one in two sexually active youth will contract an STD by age 25.

In 2006, adolescents and young adults 13-29 years old accounted for the greatest percentage of new HIV infections (34%) than any other age group.

African-American young adults are disproportionately affected by HIV infection, accounting for 60% of HIV/AIDS diagnoses in 13 to 24 year olds in 2006.

An estimated one in five Americans have genital herpes infection, and up to 90% of them don't know it.

Teenagers are more susceptible to human papilloma virus (HPV). Rates of HPV infection in teenagers can be as high as 40%, whereas in the adult population, the rate is less than 15%.

Teens are also more likely to develop precancerous growths as a result of HPV infection, and these growths more likely to develop into invasive cancer.

40% of older adolescents surveyed incorrectly believe that the contraceptive “pill” and “shot” protect against STDs and HIV.

Some young people, including those who have had abstinence education, consider oral and anal sex to be abstinent behaviors and do not realize these behaviors present risks of STD transmission.

Although youth are at higher risk for acquiring STDs, only 1/3 of sexually active teens age 15 to 17, and 1/2 of sexually active young adults ages 18 to 24 say they have been tested for STDs.

Sources:Centers for Disease Control and PreventionKaiser Family FoundationStudents Against Destructive DecisionsCampaign for our Children American Social Health Association

Teen Dating Abuse by the NUMBERS

BY THE NUMBERS
Nearly one in 10 teens in serious relationships say they have been deliberately hit, slapped or shoved by a boy- or girlfriend.

One in three teen girls who are sexually active say they have been physically or sexually assaulted by their partners.

One in four teenage girls say they have been verbally or physically abused by their dates.
About 30 percent of all teens in serious relationships say they have received as many as 30 text messages per hour from partners demanding to know where they are, with whom and why.

Ten percent say they get text messages or e-mails from their boyfriends or girlfriends threatening physical abuse.

-- Sources: Family Violence Prevention Fund; Teenage Research Unlimited survey for Liz Claiborne Inc. 2007



RED FLAGS
Occasional arguments are one thing. But patterns of manipulation, emotional abuse and violence can quickly spiral from mental distress to physical harm. One red flag is a warning. Several mean you need help.

Key warnings signs are when your boyfriend or girlfriend:

Belittles you and makes you feel bad.

Tries to control where you go, what you wear or what you do

Exhibits signs of extreme jealousy or possessiveness

Frightens or intimidates you

Threatens harm if you decide to end the relationship

Isolates you from your friends and family

Has broken or thrown something at you in anger

Has ever hit, slapped, shoved or kicked you, or forced you to have sex

--Excerpted from LoveIsRespect.org

GET HELP
National Teen Dating Abuse 24/7 Helpline: 1-866-331-9474