You don’t Love you Lust….Sounds crazy right?

Last Tuesday I attended a meeting initially for substance abuse with the City of Portsmouth Behavioral Health. I was invited by Dee Wright and glad I accepted the invitation. The topic up for discussion was “Healthy Relationships” right up my alley.

We started with this question….

How do you know you love someone?

SACRIFICES
HAVE TO SEE THEM ALL THE TIME
HURTS WHEN YOU BREAK UP
YOU PUT THEM BEFORE YOURSELF
YOU WILL DIE FOR THEM
YOU MISS THEM WHEN YOU HE/SHE LEAVES
IT’S A BEAUTIFUL FEELING
YOU MAY ALTER YOUR LIFE FOR HIM/HER
YOU DITCH YOUR FRIENDS FOR HIM/HER

Of course we mention a handful but these were the only ones I could remember. Feel free to add more in your mind. Read my answers. Now think back. How does being in love relate to substance abuse. Take out love and use drugs. Read my answers again and relate it to someone on drugs. That’s right love is an addiction. That is why is most cases even if you’re in a bad situation it is hard to let go.

From the beginning it is not LOVE but LUST. Let me help you out:

DEVELOPMENT OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP:

1. FALL IN LUST: infatuation, always around each other, can’t get enough, this is where the wine and dine takes place, dates, excitement, you believe that you are in love. Sex may takes place because you have that urge and can’t wait.

2. FALL OUT OF LOVE: the arguments start, all the things you let him/her get away with irritates you now, (he leaves the toilet seat up, throws clothes all over the house, she becomes sloppy/doesn’t care too much about her upkeep, she starts to nag/complain, he smacks when he eats, her voice is irritating). I can go on. You get the point.

3. LEARN TO HATE: described as the peak of your relationship. “It can’t get any worse than this”. The affairs may start. Disrespectful behavior. You involve other people in your relationship, fighting constantly, disagreements, argue about the smallest things, you hate to go home with them, break up and make ups, on and off. This is where you decide if its going to be over.

4. LEARN TO LOVE: the forgiveness stage, where you decide if it’s worth working out, weighing out the good vs. bad. I believe this is the stage where you decided you love that person and the lust goes out the window. TIME TO WORK THINGS OUT.

What do you think? I found this exercise interesting…..LNP