FAQ's: About HIV

Can I get HIV from anal sex?

Yes. In fact, unprotected (without a condom) anal sex (intercourse) is considered to be very risky behavior. It is possible for either sex partner to become infected with HIV during anal sex. HIV can be found in the blood, semen, pre-seminal fluid, or vaginal fluid of a person infected with the virus.

Can I get HIV from vaginal sex?

Yes, it is possible for either partner to become infected with HIV through vaginal sex* (intercourse). In fact, it is the most common way the virus is transmitted in much of the world. HIV can be found in the blood, semen (cum), pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum) or vaginal fluid of a person infected with the virus.

In women, the lining of the vagina can sometimes tear and possibly allow HIV to enter the body. HIV can also be directly absorbed through the mucous membranes that line the vagina and cervix.

In men, HIV can enter the body through the urethra (the opening at the tip of the penis) or through small cuts or open sores on the penis.

Can I get HIV from oral sex?


Yes, it is possible for either partner to become infected with HIV through performing or receiving oral sex, though it is a less common mode of transmission than other sexual behaviors (anal and vaginal sex). There have been a few cases of HIV transmission from performing oral sex on a person infected with HIV. While no one knows exactly what the degree of risk is, evidence suggests that the risk is less than that of unprotected anal or vaginal sex.

Can I get HIV from tattoos or body piercing?

A risk of HIV transmission does exist if instruments contaminated with blood are either not sterilized or disinfected or are used inappropriately between clients. CDC recommends that single-use instruments intended to penetrate the skin be used once, then disposed of. Reusable instruments or devices that penetrate the skin and/or contact a client's blood should be thoroughly cleaned and sterilized between clients.


A brief summary: Having a other STD's can make you prone to HIV, sharing drug injecting needles with someone who is HIV positive, health care workers are at low risk of getting HIV on the job, there are reports of female to female transmission of HIV. There is no risk of HIV transmission closed-mouth kissing, human bites, shaking hand or even if an HIV positive person spits on you. DO THE RESEARCH..LEARN MORE ABOUT HIV.



For more in depth information: please visit: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/transmission.htm

Stating FACTS:: How can you get HIV?

Which body fluids can transmit HIV?
HIV transmission can occur when fluids containing HIV from an infected person enter the body of an uninfected person. These fluids include:

•Blood
•Semen (cum)
•Pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum)
•Vaginal fluid
•Breast milk
HIV can enter the body through:

•Lining of the anus or rectum
•Lining of the vagina and/or cervix
•Opening to the penis
•Mouth that has sores or bleeding gums
•Cuts and sores
•Needles (syringes

http://www.aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/prevention/reduce-your-risk/fluids-of-transmission/

How much are a box of condoms?

Interesting question? You will be suprise of how many of us know the answer. Major OOPs!! If you know the answer pat yourself on the back : ). If you do not then I suggest you find out, especially if you are sexually active. Women we can no longer leave the purchase of condoms the responsibility of the men. If we do, we are allowing a man to have control over our bodies. IF YOU ARE HAVING SEX, PLEASE PRACTICE SAFE SEX!!!!!

I met with the Somwa VA Team yesterday. If you have not heard of Somwa Foundation it is a great organization for Survivors of Mothers with Aids. We have created a VA team to educate ourselves as well as others the dangers of HIV/AIDs. The HIV rate is high in the Black community so I feel we need to be the face behind it. It is our responsibility to get this important information out. Visit the Somwa Foundation site for more information: www.thesomwafoundation.com If you would like to team up with the Somwa Team for our events email thesomwafoundation@gmail.com. I am proud to be part of the Somwa VA Team as well as the face of LYF Foundation. It takes hard work and determination but the ultimate goal is helping others.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO PREVENT TEEN PREGNANCY

Anybody thats age 11 and up please bring them out to our Teen Pregnancy Prevention Workshop and Pledge Event this Saturday @ 11am at Emanuel AME Church, Portsmouth, VA conducted by Planned Parenthood. Email for more info 041701@msn.com. Oh yeah, ADULTS are welcome to attend too!!!

SATURDAY MAY 22, 2010!!

UVA Murder: Missed Warning Signs?

I do not think we can place all the blame on the University. I think it is a wonderful idea to train school personnel on Intimate Partner Violence. However, some abusers do not have a criminal background to track. A lot of times this abusive behavior is not reported because of the embarassment the victim will face. According to the video, she and her partner got into a altercation prior to her death. It is so important to learn the signs and go with your gut. I am sadden of the death of Yeardley Love.

Learning the Warning Signs

RED FLAGS:::
ISOLATION!!!
CONSTANT PUT DOWNS!!!
IT STARTS WITH CONTROL OVER YOUR MIND AND THE WAY YOU THINK!!

When love becomes a drug

In a sense, a substance abuser is the same as a domestic violence victim. No matter how much you struggle to make them understand that their situation is harming them, they have to let go when they are ready. Just like drugs, "harmful love" can damage your body. It makes you risk everything. You start to justify the actions behind the behavior. It clouds your vision and you are unable to see that problems exist. It keeps you separate from your family and friends. When it seems like people pull in close to help the more your run farther away. So what do family and friends do? Sit by the phone to wait for "that call"? Since we are comparing drugs to abuse then wouldn't we use the same remedy to escape from abuse as we would from drugs?The best thing to do to stop using drugs is to get away from the drug or to distant yourself from activities that influence the drug use. To successfully complete your stages of withdrawal you will need to have ongoing support from family, friends and the community.

The first step is to realize that a problem exists:

Some people do not know what abuse is. If he or she feels the situation is normal how do one know to get out? Explain to them what abuse is. Remember: abuse can be VERBAL, EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL, SEXUAL and FINANCIAL.

So, what can you do to help your friend and/or family member to understand that is an abusive situation?

LISTEN: be there for them at all times. When he/she is ready to talk, you will be the first person he/she calls.
PLEASE DON'T JUDGE: The more you state that you dislike his/her partner then he or she will feel you don't have his/her best interest. However, take caution. Know what behavior to report and seek further help. Your friend may be upset but he/she will live to get over it.
SPEND TIME WITH HIM/HER AT MUCH AS POSSIBLE: Most abusers isolate their victims. Keep his/her mind free and able to spend less time with the perpetrator. The attacks happen usually behind close doors and usually in their home. Keep him/her busy and out of the house.
HELP HIM/HER CREATE A SAFETY PLAN: Love isn't the only reason why he/she may be there. Financial reasons may be why he/she stays. There is fear of failure especially for married couples or for couples with children. He/she needs a plan to figure out where the income will come from and/or where to escape if a severe attack happens. To help a friend build a safety plan, visit this site and scrolled down to the bottom of the page http://www.abanet.org/tips/dvsafety.html

GIVE HIM/HER A NATIONAL HOTLINE NUMBER: just in case she doesn't feel comfortable talking to you. Some victims are afraid to be judged and sometimes family and/or friends tend to gossip when they get frustrates about a love one's situation.
To find out about help in your area, call:National Domestic Violence Hotline:1-800-799-SAFE1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
TAKE CAUTION: Know what behavior to report and seek further help. Your friend may be upset but he/she will live to get over it.
DO NOT PUT YOURSELF AT HARM: If you get a call, never go alone. Domestic situations are even risky for Law Enforcement. If you are on your way, call the police to meet you.

Do not be ignorant and/or shallow. You might think the behavior he or she is putting up with is stupid. Of course it is, but we all do stupid things and at the end we all need support.

LNP

11 signs of Emotional Abuse

1. Constant phone calls, text-messages, e-mails, IMs, etc. to check up on you (harrassment)
2. Extreme jealousy when you talk to or spend time with other people
3. Name-calling or putting you down, either when you're alone or with other people.
4. Behavior that you have to apologize or make excuses for.
5. Statements like, "I can't live without you. If you leave me, I'll kill myself."
6. You feel depressed, anxious, and unhappy in your relationship.
7. You're scared to upset or make your partner angry.
8. You've seen your partner hurt or talk down to other people.
9. You're down on yourself, or even hate yourself, especially when you're together.
10.You lie about the bruises or cuts you have.
11.You don't spend as much time with your friends, and you feel isolated.


Read more at Suite101: 4 Different Types of Abuse: How to Recognize Abusive Relationships
http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/recognizing_four_types_of_abuse


Know the signs, learn them and learn to love yourself. It is not worth it.

LNP

Impossible Standards: Nothing I do works: Diary of a Black Girl

Sitting here after a long day of work, I hardly ever watch 106 and Park. For one, I don't have a lot of time and for two it seems as if it draws more attention to the younger crowd. That's another story. This guy with beautiful skin and dreads laid neatly in all the right places caught my eyes. Wale. I pronounced his name as Whale when I first seen it. How silly of me? Let's get on task here. Did u see the video? It was heartfelt as I described earlier it was way too familiar. That diary belonged to me at least some part of my life and/or one or many of my close friends. The message I am assuming he is trying to convey is that we (women) carry hurt on from one relationship to another. At the beginning of the video he has a brief encounter with this girl who just fans him off. She doesn’t seem interested to know what he has to offer her, if anything. If you listen closely you can hear her friend tell her “don’t even sweat it”, as if they’re discussing something prior.


“Rather lose love than to move on never knowing what it feels like.” That is a powerful statement. I believe that young women go through a phase in a relationship where they assume it is love and are afraid to let go. Sometimes I want to tell young women “if you ever experience real love then you will not waste your time.” The reality is we know when something is not right. We just do not want to believe it and hope it will get better. This is normal, but sometimes enough is enough.

Wait there is more…..


“Listen to your friend gets another man for a minute then repeat,
Queen, you deserve the title but she rejects what I give, while she nurses the wounds by them.” I have to agree with Wale again. I have heard women say, “No need to start a new relationship it will be the same.” What about the women who give the next dude a tough time because she is scorn? We have our guard up the second time around. Sometimes when we have experienced an unhealthy relationship, we do not realize when someone else’s intentions are good.

“Raised by a momma who, who,
Hate her baby father so, so
She don’t have a problem with, with,
Saying Forget a guy Quick, quick,

Wale goes on to talk about how some women hate their child’s father. How many times have you heard women say they do not need a man? This could be true. What about the fatherless child? When I was growing up I needed my dad. Not so much that I could not live without him but just for comfort and knowing that I was love by the man that helped create me. Do we send mix signals because we use our emotions first? Do we realize the impact we have on our children?

So you know I have advice to offer. It is only right. Let first address that all women are not like the young lady shown in the video. Everyone has different experiences. I am only going by what I see and the women I come across including myself. My advice will be to wait for love. Stop looking for something that may not be meant to be. Fill a person out before you put your all. If you leave sex out of the picture you are less likely to get hurt. Keep in mind, that relationships are not perfect. I hope that we all find a prince charming but let’s be real. Take your time. Love you. If you thought you found that special someone and it does not work out, feel strong enough to move on. It is not failure. It is simply an experience. Learn from them. Hope this helps.

Mr. Wale, sir you have adopted a new fan. I love the song and video.

LNP

Promoting Healthy Relationships

When I utter the words “Domestic Violence” often others cringe. Believe or not, its a topic that people do not want to talk about. Women are too embarrassed and men are targeted. Then there are the stares. "Who does she think she is?" I know it is sensitive topic but I also know that no one is talking. I also know that silence is the epidemic of domestic violence. So, if my big mouth is going to help others or save a life than I will talk all day.

I know women are embarrassed because I talk to a few who have openly admitted it. We all know that these are not the type of the conversations that come up with our girls. Until I started this foundation, my girlfriends and I hardly every brought up the subject of domestic violence. Of course, we know plenty of women that were going through it, but it never was a big deal. For one, it was personal and two it is didn’t affect us. You know how grown folks say, “worry about your own front porch”. You were told to mind your business especially when issues like that arose. Which leaves me wondering, why can we throw dirt on other topics but when domestic violence comes up it is suddenly strange?


“How can we take an approach that does not demise men but make them more open to protect their daughters, friends and/or sisters. Believe or not this cannot just be a women’s issue. Majority of men are the abusers, however some are victims. We need their help. We need their voice. We need men’s voices because they have to teach their sons. We can Stop the Violence against Women, but how?

Love vs. Lust

Love is suppose to make you a better person. Uplift you. Don't become needy, spineless and insecure. Love you. It will make loving someone else easier.
Love is suppose to make you a better person. Uplift you. Not needy, spineless, insecure and one-dimensional. Lust.. the two are often confused- Emily Giffin

Does this person encourage you?

Give you that extra push?

Inspires you?

Motivate and support your ambitions?

Do you consume so much of your time around this person you can't get anything done?

Will there be life after this person?

Do you find after you break-up, you start do all the things you want to do?

"Sometimes we are only in love with the idea of love"

Gives you a lot to think about.

Contact Us

Please invite us to any events we love to come out and show support or if you have any questions, feel free to write or email us at the address below.

The LYF Foundation
P.O. Box 652
Portsmouth, VA 23705

Email - www.lyffoundation@yahoo.com

LYF @ PIZZA HUT FUNDRAISER:: 2/24/10

I LOVE THE UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT FROM MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH YOU KEEP LYF GOING....

PHOTO SHOOT:: ACID MEDIA X THE LYF FOUNDATION X PLATINUM COSMETICS:: LOVING YOURSELF FIRST

I decided on a photo shoot months ago and it finally came through. I checked around for prices, models and photographers. My partners were just clicks away. I teamed up with Lorenzo Williams (who runs AcidMediaVista Photography) and Nikki Dancy who specializes in nail art and also does amazing faces with 'Platinum Cosmetics".

http://www.acidmediavista.com/

I originally wanted to pick teen models to provide a "face" for my foundation. It was a lot of pressure at the end with getting everyone together, but instead of stressing I look around and realized that God has blessed with three beautiful sisters. ANSWERS!!!
My two sisters along with myself modeled and my eldest sisters did great art with our hair. The purpose of this photo shoot was to build self-esteem. I am in no way a model or feel the desire to advance in a career of modeling, but the experience alone made me feel great about myself. It was like "you can do this." "You can be the face of your own foundation." I want young women to realized it does not matter how light or dark your skin is, if your hair is short, long, curly, straight, natural etc...You, too can be beautiful. It was a wonderful experience. I plan to do tons of photo shoots in the future. Stay tuned the LYF Foundation is moving forward....

LNP

Commentary: Hiding Herpes Status From Your Lover - Essence.com

Commentary: Hiding Herpes Status From Your Lover - Essence.com

Excerpt from essence.com

Just like with HIV, you must do more than ask a man you're planning to have sex with about his status, especially since 80% of the people who are infected don't know. You must make him get tested. If presented with the option of no sex or getting tested, any halfway sane man will opt for the inconvenience. And if he doesn't want to get tested, stay away while you wonder what he knows he has or what he's afraid to find out about. You've got a significant enough chance of avoiding HIV if you use a condom... but with herpes? Not so much. It can spread through skin-to-skin contact, even when your partner doesn't have an outbreak through a process called "shedding." So you must ask your partner to get tested specifically for herpes since it's not included on the general STI test.



Read more:Commentary: Hiding Herpes Status From Your Lover - Essence.com

Fantansia New Song:: I love it

Ladies: "Doing You":: what number are you on?

“Do you” or “Doing me”- Who coined that term? Be careful what you put out there. For what I heard or from past experiences I believe it means lack of commitment. In other terms, no strings attached, self-fulfillment, and being independent but in a sexual manner. Correct me if I am wrong, but that usually how I hear it. As a matter of fact, I heard today. It went like something like this, “Girl do not get married at 18. Before you do all that, do you first”. This was said to a 15 year-old girl. Wow! I thought. Here I am, trying to clear it up. Can we really do us? Can we really sleep with several partners? I know the world isn’t fair and men can do it blah, blah, blah. But, would you really want to? One woman read a passage to me that said “women are like sockets, be careful who you let plug it you.” The best thing I have heard.
I wanted to let my young females know that is it perfectly okay to be pure. When I say pure, I’m not saying a complete virgin. I mean anyone who is a virgin I strongly commend you to stay that way until marriage. But, lets keep it real, in this day and time there are few unless they are 11 and under. Just because you have lost your virginity does not mean you cannot wait on the next special partner especially if you have not found that “one”. It does not mean you cannot wait until you are married.

Think about it 10 minutes of satisfaction could lead to an STD, HIV/AIDs, pregnancy, a broken heart, rumors etc. It scares me because a lot of young females are inexperience and are not aware of their own bodies. Basically, at the end, we are not getting any pleasure at all. So, what’s your point? Do you want to feel loved? Do you want to feel closeness? Does sex constitutes love? Does sex make a man fall deeper in love with you? If you don’t have sex with him, will he leave you?

I am asking the question, but now in the same breath I will answer them. Here are your answers:
No you cannot as a woman have multiple sex partners. True you can do whatever you want, but it wouldn’t be wise especially at this day and time. If you know someone personally and they told you that its okay based on their past experiences. Ask them: how they ever had an STD? Ever had an unwanted pregnancy? Sit back and look at their life. Are there any success stories from what they have experienced? If there are, which I highly doubt, will your life turn out the same? Be careful whom you envy. Be you. All these different men that you are sleeping cannot possibly be “husband material”. Do you plan to spend the rest of your life with each of them? At the end of the day, is it worth it?

If you want to feel loved. Love Yourself First. No one can possibly love you more than you. If you don’t love yourself, there is no reason for you to to love another. I’m not talking about family. Some things are unconditional. Don’t look for someone to give you happiness. Trust me, if you love yourself there will be fewer things that you will tolerate. You definitely would not settle for 10 minutes or maybe less of senseless sex. Find out what makes you happy. Don’t put your life on hold for this new thing called “love”. If it is right it will come natural.

If you want to feel closeness, get to know a person. I find some ladies have sex with guys and do not even know his middle name. If you were to have an unexpected child by this guy, you could not even name his son a junior. Ask simple question like, What is your favorite color? What’s your mother’s name? What was life like in your childhood? What’s your favorite food? Do you know what makes him laugh? What ticks him them off? What type of family does he come from? Can he dance? He is right handed of left? Does he want to have children? You get my point.

Sex doesn’t constitute love. A person can be in love with you and never touched you sexually. A person can have sex with you, but don’t love you. This guy said, “I don’t have to have sex with a person to be emotionally attached to that person”.

Sex can make your relationship deeper, but don’t use sex to get to that point. If your relationship is failing, having sex just to make it better is not going to help. It might mend it for a while, but think about once the sex is over. What’s going to happen? If he is not emotionally attached then you might just become his sex buddy. If you are someone’s sex buddy, snap out of it. Don’t believe he loves you because he comes to scoop you for sex.

How do you know if you are a just a sex buddy:

If you can’t reach him after certain times
If you call and he doesn’t answer
If you do not go on dates
If you are in need, but you cannot call on him
If he does not know hardly anything about you
If you hardly know anything about him
If you have met anyone in his family, preferably his mother or father.
I can go on. No one needs to tell you. You should know. Wake up!!

If you don’t have sex with him, he may leave. So! Don’t let that bother you. If he leaves quickly, rather now, then when something really serious comes up. Trust me, he wasn’t worth it in the beginning if he is unable to stick around. You should be able to walk away with your head high. No need for him to become another sex partner. Love you. Be you. You will find love when it is right for you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS. M. J.!!!

WE CELEBRATED ONE OF OUR YOUTH MEMBERS BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY...SHE TURNED 12!! WE DECIDED TO SURPRISE HER WITH DINNER @ PF CHANGS...ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAV RESTAURANTS.....IT IS A WONDERFUL FEELING TO BE ABLE TO BOND AND SPEND GREAT TIMES WITH EACH OTHER...WE LOVE LYF!!

ACID MEDIA VISTA (LORENZO WILLIAMS) X PLATINUM FACES (NIKKI DANCY) X THE LYF FOUNDATION- PHOTO SHOOT COMING THIS SUNDAY

This is about as good as it is going to get for me far as modeling...LOL..

The LYF Foundation x Acid Media Vista x Platinum Faces is teaming up for LOVING YOURSELF FIRST....CAMPAIGN... PHOTO SHOOT..

The purpose of this photo shoot is to build self-esteem and also to market our foundation. We want to promote beauty and show the world that even you can pose and me the heart of our foundation. Our girls will enjoy this..and I am proud to be a part of PROMOTE BEAUTY... DESTORY HURT...

FEBRUARY 24TH 6-9PM: PIZZA HUT

Another fundraiser night for family and friends. We are partnering with Pizza Hut. If you are able, please come out to support the LYF Foundation on February 24, 2010 from 6 to 9 p.m. (20 %) of the bill goes to our foundation. Even if you’re able to come for a few minutes, your presence will be greatly appreciated. This will be the same experience as Applebee’s. I love companies like Pizza Hut, Applebee’s, and Krispy Kreme. You don’t have to pay upfront. This companies allow you to raise funds for organizations as well as interact with people. It brings patrons to their business and helps the community in a positive way. Every little bit helps. At LYF, we focus on self- esteem issues. We hope to carry on our motto Loving Yourself First. I am a mentor and hope as our organization grows will be able to provide other mentors to help out as well. Donating to the LYF Foundation helps out with education needs, clothing, food etc. We do anything around building self-esteem. I am so focus on this because I know that one day these young women will be mothers and will have to teach their daughters. Through education and building a remarkable sisterhood we can teach the importance of LOVING YOURSELF FIRST and defeat Domestic Violence…..now all we need is your love and support..

The race has already started….Why are you not at the finish line?

As young women there is a struggle. The world is watching our every move. Often life is based on status, so we do whatever it is to obtain one. No one wants to be broke, suffer or struggle therefore we strive to make a way sometimes out of no way. We all at one point come across an obstacle. Whether it is finishing school, raising a child, keeping and/or obtaining a job. We are all in this together trying to accomplish the same thing. This struggle becomes a competition. Competition is good in some instances because you push the other person to advance. Motivate that other person because she also reaching for number one.

The part that amazes me is we compete secretly. We gossip about her. We withhold personal information because we are afraid that she will judge. We race to do thing first so we can chant “been there done that”. We get in all kinds of debt because we want a bigger house and fancier car. We lie on her and gossip about her to make ourselves feel better.

We are women. She is you.

I have been judge before not by my character but what I have. Just because I am not a mother does not mean I look down on young mothers or women who had children out of wedlock. Just because I haven’t been trouble with the law does not mean I should feel bad about being honest. The way I talk or carry myself shouldn’t be consider conceited but well-mannered.

The theory is this when you see another woman doing well take note of that same behavior and learn the good from it. Model that behavior let her be an example. Hate someone or hating on them takes too much energy and you are doing nothing but draining yourself. Mistakes happen keep moving. The same person that you secretly compete with can help you get to where you need to me. Teach you daughters the same. We have to break this cycle.


LNP… I LOVE YOU ALL MORE BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE LESS